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Uff da II

I tried to be creative with a new title, but this is pretty much the only thing that perfectly describes my life right now.

Today is a rest day – with a much-needed yoga class this evening. My run yesterday morning was one of those that was better once it was over. I had a hard time getting out of bed, I had a hard time getting ready, I had a hard time leaving the apartment, I had a hard time not turning around when the drizzle hit me, I had a hard time moving my legs at a faster speed than a crawl, I had a hard time not cutting my run short from my scheduled 9 miles. But, I managed to succeed in all of these things.

I think these hard runs are the runs that really make you think about why you get out on the road. At least, it makes me very introspective about what running means to me and what role it has in my life. Right now, I can definitely say that running is the one constant in my life. I’m at such a tumultuous time in my life right now: finishing up (hopefully) my Ph.D., thinking about a move overseas, not knowing where I’m going to be for certain in a few months – it takes its toll on someone who likes to be in control of every aspect of her life. I’ve never been in a position of such uncertainty about my future. My last year of high school, I knew where and when I was going to college; my last year of college, it was grad school; now – I know generally where I want to be, but the details are fuzzy.

So it’s a comfort to know I’ll be running x number of miles this week, y miles next week, and 26.2 miles on September 27th. It’s not an obsession so much as a foundation. No matter what happens, I can run. Life can swirl around me, but I am grounded when I run. I feel unsettled, running pulls me back and makes me feel like myself. I have a day where I’m just going through the motions, running makes me feel alive.

T: 8.3 miles in 1:07:58 (8:09 pace)
W: 4 miles in 34:15 (8:37 pace)
R: 9.1 miles in 1:18:57 (8:42 pace)

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