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A new attempt.

1. I’ve been thinking lately about how to be more regular with my blog. I figure I should a-link it to something I do without thinking about and b-make it easy for me to write.
2. a-I run (almost) every day without thinking and b-I am a pro at making lists (and I had a lot of fun with my RR for Grandma’s). So, today starts my new format: 1 list item for every mile run.
3. Today’s run schedule: 90′ @ 150 bpm; actual: 9.25 miles in 1:30.04, AHR 150.
4. I am feeling much faster at the lower heart rates (as in, I no longer am running 10 min+ miles), but the heat has made it hard to judge how I’m improving at pulses above 150 bpm.
5. Running today in 70*, clouds, and a bit of rain made me realize how much I hate the heat and humidity.
6. I may soon get rid of the humidity and replace it with more heat. My parents sold their MN place and are moving to AZ in time to move out of their old place and into a new place down there. Yeah, I’m confused, too. Believe me. I am trying not to play the victim about the whole thing, but it’s hard because I’m ready not to be dragged along to wherever I have a free place to stay while I look for jobs. I. Want. My. Own. Place.
7. I am serious about that not-playing-the-victim thing. Realizing that’s no way to live snapped me out of my post-Israel funk (or helped in a big way, anyway). It’s a work-in-progress – I almost wrote above “I. Want. My. Own. Life.” This IS my own life. I am CHOOSING this. I can choose something else – I am. I’m working on it.
8. I am officially done with my Israeli postdoc. It’s kind of anticlimactic, and I don’t know why.
9. Time really does heal all wounds. That’s actually not the toughest part. Turns out, the real hard part is trusting that those wounds are healing stronger than what was there in the first place. Dealing with the scars, in the meantime, is also tough as hell. Sometimes they heal without a problem, or you can cover them up, forget them, or maybe occasionally get a glimpse of them and remember the initial insult that brought them, but you can move on and not linger there. But sometimes those scars itch and throb and demand attention, sometimes when you least expect it. But scratching them only opens them back up again, making the chance of a complete recovery impossible.
9.25. Tomorrow is a new adventure 🙂

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